Thursday, March 6, 2014

Note from an isolated, neurotic, caffeine addict

Earlier this week, someone posted this quote on Facebook and it resonated with me. Deeply. Even though I have serious doubts about Robert DeNiro actually saying this, but that's neither here nor there.

Maybe it's been too long of a winter and I have been far too isolated (grandboys notwithstanding, lol). I try to stay upbeat and focused, but honestly, after being sick for weeks with what ended up as bronchitis, I was worn out. Beaten down. Feeling unloved and yes, completely whiny. Unsure whether I'm existing in some fantasy world while hubby bears the brunt of the financial burden (not that he complains - to the contrary, he's my biggest cheerleader. Figuratively and literally!)

Thankfully, the Z-Pack kicked in and did its job.

But I also believe in signs from the universe. Some are little signs, like the one above that reaches into my heart, reminds me I'm not alone and in no way unique (take that, ego). That the struggle is part of the process of becoming a better writer.

I've had other good signs recently. I can't share them just yet but will within a few weeks. :)

So I have to take a step back, remind myself that I'm a far cry from where I was when I started out, and to just keep going. Things happen when they happen for a reason. Personally, if any huge success had found me right away, it might have overwhelmed me. There's been a lot going on in my life these past five years, and I've had to make certain time commitments. Without hesitation, I did so because their importance far outweighed my stories.

Slowly, things are turning around. I'm grateful. I put my writing aside while we raised our three kids, and it's something I can never give up completely. I can deal with the panic, sense of inadequacy, and so on, because it happens. So does exhilaration and excitement, which makes it all worthwhile.

I'm also grateful for my family's constant support, not just of me but of every one of us. We all contribute to each others' success, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I also apologize for not being around much, but believe me, in my less-than-coherent state, you wouldn't have wanted me around anyway. So I hibernated and became a Game of Thrones addict. Now I'm almost caught up on Season 3 and am feeling better so I'll do my best to catch up. Thanks for visiting me. You guys always cheer me up. :)


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Sorry you've been so sick.
Small successes give us time to grow and adjust. I can't imagine how overwhelming a huge achievement right out of the gate would be.
And DeNiro really said that when he was presenting one of the writing awards at the Oscars this year.

Maria Zannini said...

I know how brutal bronchitis can be. It takes forever to recover from it too. I hope you're pacing yourself.

I had to chuckle (not at your expense) about your observations of success.

You've ALWAYS inspired me. I know. That doesn't put anything in the bank account, but I want you to realize how much street cred you carry.

I will read you because I know you can deliver time and time again.

LD Masterson said...

I hope you're feeling better. Being sick is sucky. Take care of yourself and get back to everything else when you're ready.

Cate Masters said...

Must be after I fell asleep, Alex. Thanks!

Aw thanks Maria. Your kind words really gave me a boost.

Thanks Linda! Slowly but surely...