Self-editing tips, part 6

For the final installment of the series, here, as promised, is a list of recommended reads for any writer. Not a complete list, by any means, but the ones on my book shelf. I constantly supplement my Amazon wish list with more (and more and more).

Sol Stein: Stein on Writing
“Usable solutions” for fiction and nonfiction writers. Includes detailed sections on characterization, dialogue, pacing, flashbacks, the “triage” revision method and an innovative way of developing drama. I’ll expand on this last in a later post.

Janet Burroway: Writing Fiction
One of the classics – for good reason. Instructive from first draft through final revision.

Robert McKee: Story
Geared toward screenwriters, but because stories are universal, invaluable for writers in any medium. (I'd love love love! to take his workshop! If only it didn't cost thousands of dollars...)

Madison Smartt Bell: Narrative Design: A Writer’s Guide to Structure.
Heavy duty stuff, but great. Dissects stories to reveal structural strengths and weaknesses.

Dwight V. Swain: Techniques of the Selling Writer
Recommended to me by an editor for its advice on developing an emotional rapport with your reader.

David Michael Kaplan: Revision: A Creative Approach to Writing and Rewriting Fiction
Provides guidance for every writing stage to help you cut to the bone of your story.

Robert Olen Butler: From Where You Dream: The Process of Writing Fiction
Adapted from Florida State University’s writing program. Archived at www.fsu.edu/butler.

Rachel Ballon, Ph.D.: Breathing Life Into Your Characters: How to Give Your Characters Emotional and Psychological Depth.
I tend to shy away from any how-to book that practically guarantees publication if you buy it (this one’s jacket says: Creat convincing characters that readers – and editors – can’t resist!). Though I’d recommend Swain’s Techniques of the Selling Writer if you can only buy one and not the other, this has useful info.

Gothan Writers’ Workshop: Writing Fiction: The Practical Guide from New York’s Acclaimed Creative Writing School.
Provides the “fundamental elements of fiction craft.”

John Gardner: The Art of Fiction: Notes on Craft for Young Writers
Or writers of any age. Not just for beginners, as stated.

Charles Baxter and Peter Turchi (eds): Bringing the Devil to His Knees: The Craft of Fiction and the Writing Life. Tips on craft from nineteen award-winning writers, essays adapted from Warren Wilson College MFA Program.

Jon Vorhaus: Creativity Rules!
One of the more useful workbook-type texts, though I’m not one for writing prompts.

Frances Mayes: The Discovery of Poetry
Not just for poets. Chapters such as Words: Texture and Sound with sections on The Muscle of Language and The Kinship of Words – how can any writer not find these relevant?

And, for the sheer joy and celebration of language, I highly recommend Michael Chabon’s Maps and Legends. He is one of the writers that makes me feel high just reading him. Margaret Atwood, Charles D’Ambrosio and T.C. Boyle too. I’d like to get in a room with them all.

The poet Muriel Rukeyser wrote: "We wish to be told, in the most memorable way, what we have been meaning all along."

Wow. If you can do that with your writing, you’ll have a lifelong connection with readers.

In a future post, I’ll share some more titles from my bookshelf related to writing.

Self-editing, part 5

Continuing from previous posts...

1. Evaluate the amount of the character’s history included on the first 1-3 pages. Often authors think the reader needs this up front before the action starts. Not so. You, as the author, need this backstory to create the scene, but the reader can learn the information as the situation demands or as needed by the second character. Revealing these details in dialogue or as short internal thoughts is most effective.

2. Show scene breaks by inserting four asterisks centered on a line by themselves. Usually with no white space between. One publisher asks authors to remove all chapter breaks in manuscripts under 80 pages.

3. Vary your characters’ speech patterns. If one character is educated and the other is less so, their speech should reflect it. Make each character unique without being a stereotype. In short, give each character a bit of character of his/her own.
Avoid, however, overuse of brogue and other dialogue affects that will slow your reader down, frustrate your reader, perhaps to the point of setting the story down. A little goes a long way, as the saying goes.

4. Alternately, make your characters’ voices consistent. Check each character’s speech patterns individually. Make sure each maintains the same voice throughout.

5. No idle chatter. Speaking of voice, don’t include idle chatter in dialogue. Yes, it will mirror real life but it will also bore your reader. They’ll start skipping ahead, and may skip something crucial.
Cut any dialogue that does not advance the story line. However, if it seems idle at the time but somehow provides a clue to an important event later, include it.

6. Read your story aloud. Editors recommend you read your work aloud at some point in your self-editing process. If not with a critique group, then at least to the dog. Your ear will catch what your eye often overlooks.

John Updike said: "(Writers) find the quick of human experience and use words that make it sing." Make yours a song with full orchestral backup with diligent self-editing.

Holly Lisle posted some great advice on how to revise in one pass-through (something I've yet to accomplish but now will attempt!) It includes advice similar to mine on planning ahead for publication.

In the final installment in this series, I'll provide a list of reference books I've found useful in self-editing.

Self-editing, part 4

This series of self-editing tips are only simple editing guidelines. For more advanced revisions, a critique partner can provide perspective on such things as varying sentence structure to improve flow, punching up drama with shorter sentences, logistical or consistency issues, maintaining a character’s voice, etc.

1. Basic show versus tell. Search through your manuscript for areas you can reword to show the reader what’s going on rather than telling them. ‘Telling’ tends to keep the reader at arms length like they’re watching what’s going on through a telescope or through an overhead camera.
It’s a somewhat tricky process, but if you stay inside your character’s head, it helps a lot. Experience what your protag is experiencing in the scene. Add more description: what s/he sees, smells, hears. In this way, you’ll help the reader experience the story through the character’s senses. In doing so, you’ll also help the reader develop an emotional attachment to the characters. They’ll care what happens next, root for him/her.

2. Look out when you describe the action of looking. When describing an action the eyes make, use the word ‘gaze.’ Editors will point out that eyes cannot be physically mobile (i.e., cannot drop or fall or snap, though a gaze can).

3. Cause and effect sentences. Sentences need to relay information about the cause before the effect or result. In other words, write the sentence in the order the events occur. In this way, your readers will experience the scene in a linear way (and you won’t confuse them).

4. Every character’s action or thought starts a new paragraph. An action and line of dialogue by the same person exist in the same paragraph. Do not mix dialogue of one character in the same paragraph as another.

5. Only one POV per scene. Simply put, no head hopping. Readers find it jarring to be inside one character’s thoughts and suddenly find themselves inside the other. Keep it clean.

Dr. Maya Angelou said: "Not everything you create will be a masterpiece, but you get out there and try. Sometimes it happens, the other times you're just stretching your soul." Add self-discipline to that stretch to make it art.

Still more tips on the way!

Self-editing part 3

More tips on preparing your manuscript for submission, compiled from various publishers.

1. Avoid adverbs. Delete LY words whenever possible and use a more descriptive verb instead. For example: He hit the egg gently against the bowl. ‘Hit’ is too strong a description in this case so requires gently to accurately depict the action. Instead, use: He tapped the egg against the bowl. Tapped is a better description of the action performed by the character, and lets you omit the adverb.

2. Commas. This one’s tricky. Some publishers follow Chicago Manual of Style, and others have their own style.
One publisher wants commas before conjunctions such as ‘and’ ‘but’ ‘or’ ‘yet’ ‘for’ ‘nor’ and ‘so.’ As a Catholic School grad, this really went against the grain for me, but then I got used to it. Unfortunately, other publishers may not like it, so the key here is to pay attention to those self-editing tips the publisher sends when it accepts your manuscript and adjust accordingly.
In general, place a comma between a series of words/phrases: ‘They walked, talked, and caught up on life.’
Place a comma between descriptive adjectives (i.e., the cool, clear water)
The trend for commas used with ‘too’ leans toward: If ‘too’ is at the end of the sentence, do not use a comma before it. If it appears in the middle of a sentence, separate it with commas: ‘he, too, asked for directions.’

3. Ellipses. To ‘trail off’ at the end of a sentence or thought, use Use .… (four periods with no spaces in between). Not to be used to interrupt thoughts or sentences (see #4).
If the sentence ends with a question mark, use three periods and a question mark.
At the end of an exclamation point, use three periods and the exclamation point.
Within quotes, use three periods, a comma, and then the end quote: “I just can’t believe you’re really…,” Amy shook her head, “…expect me to believe that.”

4. Em (long) dash. Use — to show an interrupted thought or sentence.
One publisher’s example:
“If I never see you again—”
“I’ll be the lucky one,” Sandy interrupted.

Milo took the same route each day — the same route his father took before him — to the village below the castle.

5. Possessive form for names ending with ‘s.’ Use apostrophe ‘s’: Jess’s, not Jess’.
For this one, I suggest you check your publisher’s guidelines.

6. Keep tense consistent throughout. Self-explanatory. Don't confuse/lose your reader with sloppy tenses.

Harold Pinter said: "The speech we hear is an indication of that which we don't hear. It is a necessary avoidance, a violent, sly, and anguished or mocking smoke screen which keeps the other in its true place. When true silence falls we are left with echo but are nearer nakedness. One way of looking at speech is to say that it is a constant stratagem to cover nakedness."

Keep ‘em interested enough to want to uncover it all.

More self-editing tips to follow.

Self-editing tips, part 2

More tips on preparing your manuscript for submission.
I compiled the following tips from self-editing sheets I received from various publishers. Follow them to make your manuscript stand out from the others, and so you’ll have less editing work after your story’s accepted for publication.
As noted in part 1, the basic rule of thumb is: delete any part of your story that does not advance the plot or enhance your characters. Make every sentence, paragraph, scene, and chapter move the story forward in some way, including dialogue. If something isn’t relevant to the story, or in some way takes your reader’s attention from the story line, cut it. If you don’t want to remove it, rework it to make it relevant.

1. Streamline your sentences. Simplify wherever possible. Look for the redundant phrases below –and others like them—and remove any redundant words.
Stand up = stand
Sit down = sit
Turned back = turned
Turned around = turned
He thought to himself = He thought. (Who else can he think it to?)

2. Don’t overuse names. Repeating your character’s names over and over is a reminder to the reader that s/he’s reading. Overusing names draws a reader out of the character’s POV. And signals to editors you’re a novice. By the time they’ve finished the first page, your reader knows your protagonist’s name.
Take a yellow highlighter (or use the search and replace feature on your computer) and highlight all uses of your characters’ names for one chapter. (If you don’t have time to do that, you can simply glance at the beginning of every paragraph for a page or two. Do they all start with someone’s name? This is another sign of overuse).
Whenever possible substitute “he” “she” “her” “him” and other adjectives for the names. This will help your reader to stay in your character’s PV and can make or break the difference between a reader simply reading a story – and feeling like they’re a part of one.

2. Same word overkill. How many times is it necessary to use the same word in a paragraph?
One publisher’s example: Mary stared up at the wide staircase. She dreaded the thought of climbing those stairs. Nevertheless, she put one foot on the bottom stair and began the journey, one stair at a time until she reached the top of the stairs.
The above is an exaggeration for effect, but most of us do something along those lines without realizing it. Bonus points if you caught the similar sounding ‘stare’ as well as the two ‘tops.’

3. Convert sentences from passive to active. Have your subject perform the action rather than the action occurring as if spontaneously. Occasionally, however, a passive sentence can improve the flow of the story, but use sparingly, if at all. Again, do not begin sentences with ‘It was’ or ‘There were.’

4. Limit speech tags. Use anything other than ‘said’ or ‘asked’ sparingly. Overdescriptive dialogue tags distract the reader from the natural flow of the story. Let your punctuation do the work to show to the reader the action so you don’t have to tell it. For instance, “Look out!” yelled Steve. You need not specify ‘yelled’ because the exclamation point illustrates it.
However, this does not apply to tags used to show action. For instance: “Look out!” Steve pulled Amy away from the falling stone. This gives readers an action – almost a visual – to go along with the dialogue.

As William Carlos Williams said: "It is not what you say that matters but the manner in which you say it; there lies the secret of the ages."

Actually, I'd argue that it's both, but the point is, pay attention to your craft.

Tips continue on Friday.

Self-editing tips, part 1

During the first draft of any story, I turn off the editor’s voice in my head. The main objective in this phase is to get the story on paper. Revisions come later.
But when they do, don’t skimp. Do yourself a favor and follow a few simple rules before submitting your piece to help make it stand out. The more you polish your story, the more it will shine in an editor’s eyes.
I’ve compiled several self-editing tip sheets from publishers. The first several parts will deal with issues concerning simple language and sentence construction.
The next will focus on higher-level issues such as POV and the oldie but goodie, show versus tell. The final part will consist of a list of reference books I found useful while revision and self-editing.
So when the publisher returns your story with an attachment on self-editing, you’ll be one step ahead.

1. Crutch words. Search your story for all instances of ‘that’. Evaluate each—you can delete 95% of the occurrences without losing any meaning. If it’s not needed, your sentence will be more powerful without it.
Other crutch words include ‘just’ and ‘really.’ As in: ‘I really have no idea why I overuse that, I just do.’ Yes, such words sound conversational – you may get away with adding them in dialogue. For the most part, avoid them.
‘Suddenly’ should be used as infrequently as possible. Yes, some well-known authors who shall remain nameless get away with it. But it becomes tedious for readers to encounter sudden events with such frequency. It makes your character appear to be afflicted with ADD.
Learn these crutch words and you’ll eventually recognize them as you write your first draft. The less you have to edit, the better.

2. Watch for pet words. Sometimes we use phrasing or words without realizing it. If you find you overuse words such as ‘then,’ ‘as’ and ‘when,’ change up your sentence structure. Vary your word use as much as possible.

3. Stall phrases. Likewise avoid stall phrases such as: ‘tried to,’ ‘began to’ and ‘started to’ whenever possible. They’re effective only if you want to emphasize the slowness of the scene, or draw out its drama. Stall phrases do nothing to change the meaning of the sentence, and actually weaken it. Go with the simple past tense of the verb instead. You shouldn’t use them to pad your word count.

4. Avoid using 'it' as the subject. In most cases, the sentence is strengthened by deleting the vague pronoun and identifying with a solid noun.

5. Strengthen weak verbs. You can usually eliminate ‘was’ and ‘were’ by replacing them with stronger, more descriptive verbs. Editors don’t flag them all, but will return your manuscript if you overuse these two. Usually, ‘was’ and ‘were’ precede an ‘ing’ word, and you can simply convert the ‘ing’ word to make it stronger. For instance, instead of: ‘He was watching the evening news,’ change to: ‘He watched the evening news.’ Voila.

6. Avoid ending sentences with prepositional phrases (to her, at him, for her, etc). These are usually implied and leave the sentence with a weak ending. If you’re in a character’s POV, such phrases are unnecessary.

7. Punctuation belongs within quotation marks: “The time has come,” the walrus said, “to talk of many things.”

James Michener said: "I'm not a very good writer, but I'm an excellent rewriter." Enough said.

Look for Part 2 later this week.